Stay-at-home dads love role, desire to network with others

About a year and a half ago, Brendan Fehr became a stay-at-home dad.

Shortly after moving to Avondale from Illinois, Fehr and his wife Tiffany crunched the numbers and realized that with her salary as a nurse, he could stay home and care for their son K.C., 11, and daughter Campbell, 3.

Although the 31-year-old Fehr said he loves his new role, one key thing is missing: friendships with other stay-at-home dads.

"The hardest thing is you don't know where to look," he said, noting he does not know any other men who stay home with their kids.

"If there were somewhere that a guy like me could sign up at to get information sent to my e-mail about other dads interested in a group, that would be helpful," he said. "Just so we could get together at parks, at a pool or even at the mall. It just seems that most things are geared towards moms who stay at home."

Stay-at-home moms in the Southwest Valley and beyond would probably agree with Fehr's dilemma.

When a mom decides to stay home with her children, she usually not only knows other women who are also doing it, but she can also join well-known groups like the International MOMS Club or meet other moms at the park or indoor play places.

Fehr has not been so lucky.

"I'm not sure if it's because guys are too embarrassed to say that they are an at-home dad or what. But it's really hard to find them."

Boe St. Peter knows exactly what Fehr is talking about. A few months before his son Caelin, 18 months, was born, the Peoria resident left his job as employment coordinator for United Cerebral Palsy of Central Arizona to help prepare his son's nursery and stay home to raise Caelin while his wife Amy works.

"I had a few friends that were (stay-at-home dads) for awhile but are no longer financially able to do it," said St. Peter, 33.

"I think with most people, they are willing to join something but are not always looking to take the lead in getting a group started or maybe they don't have the expertise in doing so," he said.

Despite feeling somewhat alone in their roles, Fehr and St. Peter say they would not trade their jobs for anything.

"I feel that I'm making more of a difference in his life and creating a bond that I couldn't if I just saw him after a long day of work and he was in bed two hours later," St. Peter said.

Fehr agreed. "I love taking my kids to the park, riding bikes and playing catch. There is no feeling better than being a part of my kids' lives every day."

On the Web

Are you a stay-at-home dad who is trying to find other dads?

One place to go is www.WestValleyParent.com. Dads may post on the Parent Chat message board and ask other dads to contact them or plan a playgroup. The site also features information on dozens of activities and places to play throughout the WestValley.